Coffee, Sunrise, and a Divine Appointment on My 50th Birthday

Coffee, sunrise and a divine appointment. August 21, 2011

My 50th birthday began with a divine appointment!

I went across the street this morning to sit on a floating dock on Lake Maitland with a cup of coffee. There was a man preparing to launch his boat, and when I looked up he said, "You look like the Folger's coffee commercial from years ago".

(Not sure if you remember it, but I do...similar setting...ahh coffee, the lake, early, peaceful morning).

I responded with, "Isn't it a beautiful day?" and then I just sensed the Holy Spirit telling me to tell this man it was my birthday.

"And today is my 50th birthday!"

He responded by telling me he just turned 60 this month, that 50 was depressing for him, and 60 was even more depressing. He asked me how did I feel, reaching this milestone. I told him it was the best day of my life, that my best days were ahead.

(And then, instantly, a point of access...)

What followed was him, in essence, asking me the reason for the hope that I have.

I told him that I had learned that God had a plan and purpose for my life, regardless of what it feels like when we hit these milestones.  I went on to tell him that in this last season of my life I lost both my mother and my husband, but that through life's trials and traumas I learned that "Life is hard, but God is good." I simply said to him that there are so many hard questions that we have in life, especially in light of our trials, but that Jesus was the answer to every question.

He stopped in his tracks and was scanning my face, saw the joy in my eyes and God's radiance on my face (I could feel it shining on me at that moment!). Who can dispute that testimony?

He was getting ready to leave and I looked him and said "Bruce, Jesus loves you and I'm praying for you."

He dropped his head and didn't make eye contact. And in a kind and gentle voice he just said, "Thank you."  His friend came up at just at that time, so it was the natural ending to our conversation.

Could there have been a better start to this day? Oh, the doors the Holy Spirit opens we we obey the whisper of His voice. All of my trials are worth it if because of them I can speak hope and life to someone who is hurting and searching. Who will God bring to you today to extend God's liberating love?

My 50th Birthday: This is truly the day the Lord has made! 

This Melody in My Heart

When I was a little girl, I learned the Prayer of Saint Francis, in the form of a sweet little melody taught and sung in elementary school. It has been a song in my heart all these years, though I have failed miserably in so many seasons and moments of my life to walk it out. 

These are the verses I remember:

Verse 1: Make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, your pardon, Lord,
And where there's doubt, true faith in you.

Verse 2: Make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there's despair in life, let me sow hope.
Where there is darkness, let me sow light,
And where there's sadness ever joy.

When I worked in downtown Manhattan in the early 90s, I used to walk by a historic little church every day on the way to the Path Train at the World Trade Center. The church bells would play this same melody I learned when I was a little girl. It always brought me back to the day when I had a purer heart. 

But in this stage of my life, while I knew God, I was too hardened in my fast track corporate life to do anything but pursue success and my self interests. Peace, love, forgiveness, faith, hope, light, joy? Oh sure, I wanted all those in my own life, but was too selfish and ignorant to understand the mandate to sow this into the lives of others. Thankfully, God in His kindness has done a deep work in me since those days.

But it is the refrain that has captured my attention recently.

Refrain:

Oh Master, grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console.
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love with all my soul.

Oh, to be selfless enough to live this prayer, and not just when it's easy, and not with the motive to receive consolation, understanding and love in return. Perhaps that desire is the reason I have carried this melody in my heart all these years.

"Oh Master, grant that I may no longer..."