I've been thinking a lot about boundaries lately. My own, which I rearrange at will some times, and the boundaries in my relationship with others. Boundaries have an intended design to protect us. We can set them up, we can push them back, we can conveniently/situationally decide to move them. We allow ourselves and others to cross them and sometimes freely, and selfishly, attempt to cross over and push back the boundaries others have established for themselves. So how do we remedy that?
Years and years ago, my twin sister and I gave each other one half of a Mitzpah Covenant charm which reads:
When we bought the Mitzpah charm for each other for our birthday, we were like many Christians who sometimes isolate a verse outside of the context of the meaning. The Mitzpah Covenant sounds like a beautiful covenant of love and special bond--one that friends, sibilings or spouses can have."May the Lord be betwen you and me, while we are apart, one from another."
Wrong. That is not the context of this particular covenant. Go to Genesis 31 and you will find the Mitpah Covenant was made between Laban and Jacob at Mitzpah where they built and set up a boundary stone on the land. The covenant had one purpose: to establish a boundary line which two opposing sides--by covenant--have vowed not to violate, with the reminder that God is keeping close watch on those who have made the covenant.52 "This pillar is a witness, that I will not go past it to your side to harm you and that you will not go past it to my side to harm me. 53 May the God of Abraham and the God of Nahor, the God of their father, judge between us.”
I know painfully well the cost to me and to others of pushing back, crossing, and violating boundary lines established by the ancient boundary stones mentioned in the Book of Wisdom, Proverbs 23:10. Recently I put back on my half of the Mitpah Covenant charm, but for a new reason. It serves as a visible reminder to me of my responsibility to assess the current boundaries in my life. Boundaries regarding my choices, my relationships, my emotions, my habits. I desire for God to do a deep work in me in this area. It also serves as a reminder to me to honor and respect the boundaries others have established between themselves and me.
We are all personally responsible for our choices relating to our boundaries and the boundaries of others, but in certain scenarios, we need to erect a boundary stone in that moment and say to ourselves and to one another in a spirit of love:
“ This far and no further.”
